For the past few months, I have been trying a new experiment.
I am trying to really listen to myself. I am trying to trust myself more. I’m trying to live in the moment, as we often say.
How does it feel to let yourself live? To let go? To not listen to that voice in our head, that keeps telling us:
« Keep going. You should. You must. It is absolutely necessary. »
How does it feel to not think our lives depend on it, when we do not go to the gym this week, even though we promised ourselves we would? How does it feel when we have not accomplished the day’s to-do? How is it going?
We feel a little more free. But the anxiety, since it is necessary to say this word, remains very present.
This is normal. It is called letting go, or so it seems. But what is never said is how hard it is. How conflicting it can be. Indeed, two voices coexist deep inside us: both, this voice that asks us so much, and this other one that screams at us:
« Let go, live girl, everything will be fine! »
It is that last voice that I sometimes have such a hard time hearing, as if it is trying to whisper above the deafening noise of life.
It is not always easy to let it speak. But the other one, the voice of exigency ; the one that speaks in a rough tone, how does it feel to listen to it? When we embark on this endless race for short-term satisfaction, for productivity?
In the moment, once you have accomplished everything it wants, it seems to calm down. And then it starts again. Screaming. Like an ogre forever unsatisfied.
So let’s try another way.
The way where we listen to our inner voice. The one that tells us to slow down, to listen to ourselves when we feel tired. Just a little. Let’s lend an ear. An ear, certainly distracted at first, but which will become more and more attentive as time goes by.
Take care of yourself. No one will do it as well as you.